My dear friend, you’ve been on my mind lately especially because its almost been a year. Attimes I think it was stupidity, others I’m jealous you had the courage to do something I cant. R.I.P.
it’s almost valentine’s day & I’m actually rather excited cause for once I have a valentine that I love so all the “I love you” crap that’s being sold I can actually give to him without it being “oh this is awkward.”
He got his gifts early, I showed up in the morning with coffee, assorted chocolate with macadamia from Hawaii, a cookie card cake from Mrs. Fields, an “I love you” balloon, & the cutest card ever (I put one of those hearts from build-a-bear that says I love you in the middle of the card, and on the envelope it says “I <3 u” with sweetheart candies glued to it)Cute right? oh yup, I’m a good gf lmfao.
I hate when I’m so close to finishing a paper and of course, brain block hits. I’m only half a body and a conclusion away. I found my two sources that I just have to add in and I’m done with more than needed pages typed and yet I can’t finish! ):<
I feel like such a baby, I’m still incredibly sick but after studying for a few hours I stop by my boyfriend’s cause I needed to chill somewhere outside of school. While working today my coworker needed a cough drop and immediately I go “Wait I have cough drops!” in my super gone raspy voice, she looks at me in confusion and I reply with “yeah my boyfriend put cough drops in my pocket before I left to work”. I feel like a baby cause my boo still babies me. He treats me well(:
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When it comes to love I’m a disaster, but I know relationships well. I hate those couples who act lovey dovey all day long, who feel the need to share with the world every intimate detail of the picture perfect relationship (which they believe is true, most days) to where friends and the public no longer see them both as individuals but rather as one. They neglect friends whom are cast aside and become overwhelmed in the drama of insignificant arguments and easily won over by stupidity. For the longest I’ve dreaded commitment and the title of a relationship because I was content on the single life, here and there I had a companion but they never lasted more than a few months. In the bigger picture of life on a time line, a few months is nothing more than a mere blip, a speed bump if you may say to much more. Not all relationships however are classified as so. There’s always the description of the guy that a girl desires yet is passed up by temptation of another, well when you finally open your eyes and realize there is more do you find perfection in your ideal other half.
The bad boy who’s a bit protective, known for his fighting abilities yet is adored for being a sweetheart. Giant hugs, kind eyes, but will still knock a nigga out if he ever said anything disrespectfully. He’s genuinely sweet and will give you the world, wouldn’t put you on a pedestal or give you everything you ask but gives you what you need and will do everything to make you happy. Charming, handsome, funny, family oriented but does his own thing too, goes to school, works out, heavy-weight and still opens the door and gives you kisses when he sees you regardless of who’s around. Holds your hand when you’re scared or just because. Doesn’t always say or do the right thing, but he will when it counts. The ideal description of a man the way they should be, never cruel nor disrespectful and right in front of me. Lol well actually in front of me since I was 16, I’m 19 now.
I am in love with this boy who loves me back but I haven’t lost sight of myself. I am not the girl who will push my friends aside, or change plans to accommodate but I must admit for once I’ve let my guard down and fell in love with someone unspeakably and indescribably amazing its unbelievable. Some believe love is when you’ve achieved happiness in your life that when someone particular comes that you realize that so called happiness you had before cannot compare anymore and it is not happiness because happiness is found only with the other therefore without them life will cease to exist. However I don’t believe that, at least not whole-heartedly. Without him, I am still me at the same token, without him I was content, I am now happy. Without him I was strong, now I am stronger. Without him my life went well, today it is better. He emphasizes my life in every good way, and addition never a substitution. For the person I am, he’s perfect in every way shape and form because he makes my life and myself better. For once I have someone telling me what I deserve and through his eyes it’s nothing but the best. There’s a lot to me no one can ever grasp at understanding besides a very select few & by that 1 besides himself, layers upon layers I hide myself from those who know me best. My very being of why I am who I am or why I act how I do is for myself to know and no one else. I remind him constantly that I’m sorry for the fact I will probably cause him more trouble than any girl or even all put together. I am a hard-headed, high-strung, perfectionist that over-analyzes in a pessimistic manner. & he replies with its okay as long as were together. He tells me its time for me to get what I deserve, happiness and I couldn’t be happier. I’m past the phase of junior high/ high school flings and ready for the real thing, so forever? Bring it on.
maybe its because I’m horrifically sick or that its still early in the year that I can consider the beginning of February New Years as I find January 1st New Years(in my defense it was Chinese New Years a few days ago) but I’ve deleted every SINGLE post I’ve ever put up with the help of the mega-editor or whatever its called otherwise that shit would’ve taken hours. Some things I feel are js better left to the past, memories and moments are left but don’t need to look back on so I’m ready to start anew. Wasn’t too sure if I wanted delete my tumblr all together because that would require having to go through that process, then re-make one, then find blogs and truth be told I’m too damn lazy, plus a lot of the blogs I found were purely from days of boredom and I’d follow if they said something that struck me intriguing. Writers regardless of profession or sport or even hobby for that matter can all be related to in some way shape or form if there’s consistency and feeling behind it. But with that said as well, I’m probably about to delete a bunch who post up random shit that’s plainly retarded lol.
